Council Housing -- Blackpool

It wasn't that Hugh had awful hygiene. He just had an extreme overabundance of malassezia. Very extreme. Even attempting a few dangerous, little-tested charms hadn't worked in the long run. He had eventually just given up and quit noticing; of course, having Sophia crawling all over his scalp like this only served to bring back the self-consciousness.

Sophia looked at her handiwork, and smiled proudly. She DID manage to create some sort of swoop thing going on in Hugh's hair, but, it was a little crooked and it didn't completely cover his left eye. But , it would do.

She pulled out a pocket mirror from her handbag of seemingly endless wonders, and he handed it to him.

"Tell me what you think."

Hugh tried to avoid actually looking at himself. He focused on the plastic that cased the mirror. "I'm just going to wash it out later, you know."

"I know. But it was just an experiment. Anyway, let's go back to focusing on this your first public appearance this time." A pad of paper and pen was removed from the bag. "Anyway, how do you want your entrance to be like? I'm sure I can smuggle in some of those nifty no-heat fireworks if you want a more flashy appearance."

"No, no fireworks." He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it all back on top of his head. "I'm not HAVING any sort of public entrance, or whatever it is you're thinking up!"

"But you must!" begged Sophia. "You have to have an introduction to society."

"I've been introduced. They just..." Slammed the door in my face? "I don't know."

"Well, it certainly wasn't a PROPER introduction, then! But don't worry, that is why I'm here. I am your coach. Call me Coach Sawyer!"

Hugh's eyes drooped. He knew from the last seven years of knowing this Sawyer girl that she wasn't going to just up and leave, no matter how he would beg. "... You could at least stop that noise."

"I... am... CAN-NIB-BAL!" sang the radio.

"CANNIBAL CANNIBAL... I AM!"

"No way!" she yelled, shaking her head. "This isn't noise, this is PERFECTLY good music that I grew up listening to in my younger years! Besides, I decided right now that THIS is going to be your public entrance song! I mean Hugh, you're just going to drink everyone's blood for breakfast and lunch!" Sophia made her hands into little claw shapes, and made a little growling sound.

The thought of literally doing that made Hugh feel sick to his stomach. "No way. You call that music?"

"Of course it is! ANYTHING that has some sort of melody and beat, with singing or rapping to it is music. Some music is just instruments playing different notes and melodies!-That's classical music. I like that too. Do you want some classical music piece to be your entrance tune? I'm sure I can arrange 'In The Hall Of The Mountain King' to play if you want."

"No."

"Yes. And listen Hugh." Sophia scooted up close into his face, with a pointing finger to boot. "You better go along with this. And if you don't? I promise you, I will make your life a living hell, and I will make sure to have a LazyTown song play for your entrance theme."

Hugh didn't know what LazyTown was, and he knew he probably didn't want to.

No, he definitely did not want to know what it was.

"So, where were we." Sophia's happy attitude reappeared as quickly as it left. "We were talking about your entrance song, right? But we could come back to that later. What do you want to wear, or how do you want your hair styled?"

"They'd call me out for anything other than the uniform. Please, please don't touch my hair."

"But Hugh, you can't wear your uniform to a party! But, I have an idea! I'll ask my mom to make you some purple sequined pants! I think you'll start a new fashion trend!"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Absolutely yes. Either that or a pink bunny suit. Your choice."

"How on earth would that be considered cool?! Either of those!"

"Well Hugh, let me give you some Sophia Philosophy." she said, sitting back, suddenly going into a more calm mode. "Being cool isn't just dressing and following the trends. Being cool is being different from everyone else, and thinking that YOU'RE cool because you like the way you dress or whatever. If you wear purple sequined pants and think you're the sexiest thing alive in them, people will respond to that in a positive way. As long as you don't act like a huge ham, anyway."

"But I wouldn't think so."

"That's just your opinion then."

Hugh crossed his arms. "So your philosophy would be moot."